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by a.b.When I went to Target tonight, I thought I was just picking up dog food and toilet paper. Instead, I had the chance to observe a parent unwittingly teaching their child about money.
I was in the lamp section, looking for a desk lamp to light the only dark corner in our studio; coincidentally it's the space I need to study in right now. A young girl who appeared to be between six and eight, ran up to a chandelier style light and turned to her mother.
"I like this one. How much is it?"In one sentence I knew that this child was being taught that budgets are flexible and personal debt is acceptable. It left me feeling disquieted. Yes, I know this parental interaction was none of my business, but I think how we teach the next generation about debt will have a drastic effect on our future.
"It's $25. That means you'll owe me $5."
Some parents argue that they need to teach children about debt as a survival tool. In short, it is better for them to teach their children about responsibly paying off debt because it's inevitable. They will buy a car, a house, go to college, and it's very difficult to do these things without debt. It is better to teach them at a young age that if they don't pay things back as agreed, there are punishments.
The opposing side argues that while it is difficult to do these things without taking on debt, it is not impossible. Teaching children about debt at a young age makes them think that overspending is okay.
I think the best thing you can teach your child is that they can't buy something they don't have the money for.
So if the mother had said, "You only have $20, you can't afford that," what's the worst thing that could have happened? It's not like there weren't three dozen other lamps there.
Another option would have been the saying, "You only have $20 now, but you'll have $25 next week. We can come back and buy it then."
She could have even said, "I'm going to buy this lamp, and when you have $25, you can buy it from me," so she didn't have to make the trip back to Target in the holiday shopping season.
Any one of these options would have worked, and taught the lesson that debt isn't acceptable. In all fairness, the mother did try to steer the daughter to a floor lamp in her budget, but it looked like the damage was done. The little girl kept looking back at the chandelier lamp, and you could see in the corner of her eye how easy it is to "owe mom."
I am not a mom, but I hope when I am, I can teach my child to learn from my financial mistakes. I want my child to think that debt is not acceptable, that being stuck paying off debt is not a way to live, and the only way to make sure that happens, is to never take it on.
5 comments:
Ah, the unwitting things we pass on to the kiddies!
I was taught to save up for something I didn't have the money for. I can't say it's always something I do, but it's definitely my default-setting. Most days I'm very thankful that my mom was so careful about things like that. Tim still likes to go ahead and spend ahead of time, then do without until he's caught up. But we had to nix that style, because inevitably he'd just keep borrowing from his future stuff rather than wait it out. Drove me up a wall.
Couldn’t agree more, these are great suggestions. As a single parent that was *less* than good with money throughout my youth, teaching children about money is CRUCIAL, in my mind. I’m not going to blame parents, schools, etc, but quite simply, I clearly “didn’t get it”, and I am still paying for those mistakes a decade later! And quite frankly, I hate the position I got myself in, everytime I pay off my past debts… I could have used my time/money sooooo much better.
A program was suggested to me by a friend, that teaches kids to be responsible with money, and puts them in control of their money. It’s a fun, interactive booklet + personal website that makes tracking their money fun – more importantly, the tugs on the pantleg going through the grocery checkout and the tantrums have all but disappeared! I guess that’s a little self centered of me… but any parent knows those situations all to well. For the record, I too used to do this to my parents, I was apparently horrible to bring into a store… oops!
If anyone is interested, the program is designed by KidsWealth: http://www.kidswealth.com (hope it’s OK to post URL, I put it in my comment description to).
Just my .02c (no pun intended) !!
Blech--that kid's eyes are creepy.
or maybe the daughter didn't bring all her money with her to the store, thus the mom saying "you'll owe me $5" - my kids do this often and given that they are elementary age, i don't want them carrying all their money with them to target.
@Abigail: Great to see you! I was raised the same way. I remember saving up all summer to buy school supplies, pricing out the ads, and going to Woolworth's (hope that doesn't date me) to get the best deals. I don't know what happened; I was a sensible child. :)
@Teaching: The pants tug and tantrums are definite buzzkills, but any opportunity to teach children about money isn't wasted. It's a good thing your children have a mom that values their fiscal future.
@Anonymous: Geez! If you can't say anything nice....
@mandy: See, I didn't think of that. I agree having a child carry around unnecessary money is a bad idea. It just didn't seem that was the context because the mother was trying very hard to steer the daughter to an under $20 lamp. It didn't feel like she was saying you have to pull out $5 from the piggy when we get home. However, I have been wrong many times before.
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