The True Cost of Debt

For the longest time, I'd thought of my debt merely in dollars and cents. I have X amount of debt. When it is paid off it will have cost me X debt + Y interest = ouch. Lately, I've started to think of the more personal cost of debt.

#1: Ability to Invest
Boy are there some steals out there right now! Whether it's stocks or real estate, there are some great moves that could be made, if you have spendable cash and zero debt. In fact, I saw my dream home for steal, I mean, for sale...cash only. Let's see here while I pull out $120,000. Oops, I must have left it in my other pocket.

#2: Mobility
With allergy season hurtling upon us with its powerhouse punch combos of leaky, itchy eyes, sneezing, bloody noses and migraines, I was seriously examining what it would take to move Mr. MT and I out of Las Vegas. After several spreadsheets of potential ideas I finally figured out what it would take. ......It would take a miracle. The truth is, enough of our expense would go up if we moved, we couldn't afford to keep paying down our debt, and might even be forced to default. I'm willing to live my life one benadryl at a time for the sake of my FICO score. Regardless, we used to pride ourselves on our ability to move if necessary to assist family. I'm nervous that if a family emergency occurred, we would have no way to spend precious moments with our loves ones.

#3: A Social Life
Both Mr. MT and I work service industry schedules, which means when our friends are having dinners, we're going to work; when we're off work, they're in bed. One of us might be able to quit our job (boy would that be a stupid move in this economy), but we're currently more than content to make sure our own schedules are as closely aligned as possible for the sake of our marriage. We keep in touch with our friends and family via e-mail and social networking, and try to let everyone know the rare days we have off.

#4: A Family Of Our Own
Perhaps the most devastating cost of our debt may be the opportunity to start a family. My family health history has suggested that it would be most prudent for us to start a family before I turned thirty. We can pretty safely say that ship has sailed. While we may still attempt to start a family in the near (slightly more debt free) future, the health risks will most certainly increase, for myself and any potential Mini-MT. This certainly won't deter our potential plan to adopt, but as the last in my familial line, I always hoped to have a child that shared the pieces of generations past. It's truly disheartening to think that I prioritized things over a future.

It's really sad to think about the true cost of my debt. Most of these things (hopefully including #4) aren't permanent, but I can certainly see how many people sink into a deep depression when confronted with their financial missteps. I'm determined to keep plugging through mine, and hopefully I'll knock out some of these real costs shortly.

Reminder: It's not too late to send me an e-mail to "toot your own horn." If you've paid off any amount of debt, even all of it, e-mail moderntightwad at gmail dot com, with your (nick)name and the amount by the fifth of the month, and we'll post it for you.

Who In Their Right Mind?

Would give me a new credit card with a $6000 limit?

Some readers might remember that I was recently paralyzed by a 0% offer. While it seemed like an excellent deal, and I have a couple of balances coming due for transfer, I was nervous about how it could affect my credit score; we would like to buy a house this year if we can reduce our debt enough. But I decided to go for it. Not only is this card 0% for 12 months, it will be my lowest interest rate, it also has no annual fee, and I can use it at Costco! (Don't worry my fellow pf bloggers. Once the balance transfer goes on, the card gets put in a special space and doesn't get used until its paid off or gets transferred at the end of the 12 months. And once it is paid off, it has to be paid off each month.)

It seems that while banks are refusing to lend and credit is "frozen," it is thawing on occasion for certain customers. I have come to realize that I make credit companies salivate. Even though our total debt load is 1.5 times what we make in a year, we haven't missed a single payment in over four years. Which means that even if it's just the 3% balance transfer fee, the companies know they make money on me.

In other news, I also found out I was pre-approved for a Home Equity Loan....we don't own a home. Which goes to show, you don't have to take credit just because you're approved for it. When they told me I qualified for a $6000 credit limit (after the shock wore off) I just thought, "Why?" I think it must be comparable to when people were told what they "qualified" for in a home mortgage. I am happy that I qualified for the card, though, as it's an opportunity to keep my interest rates low and keep building (not necessarily using) our credit.

Apparently Mr. MT is drool-worthy too (like I didn't know); he just received a credit line increase.

MT Ethics: Coupon Honesty

On Sunday night, Mr. MT walked in the bedroom door and said, "I have to go to the store. We're out of laundry detergent." So then I tried to think of the last time I went to the store...and I couldn't. And the cupboards were bare, stripped naked, and cold. So at 10:30 at night, I hopped in the car with hubbin, and we went to Vons (aka Safeway). Not only were we out of detergent, we had no milk, no cheese, no bread, no lunch meat, and only a day's worth of food for FrugalPup.

Luckily, FrugalPup is currently on an Iams brand dog food that Vons carries, and I happened to have a coupon for $5 off. The universe of coupons intrigues me. Not too long ago I had to fight for a coupon that the cashier didn't want to give me, whe I could prove I was entitled. On the other hand, I've been stuck in line behind someone insisting that it shouldn't matter if they got the right size orange juice, they should get the coupon anyway.

So on Sunday night I handed the cashier my Iams coupon. He tore out the dog food one and handed the cat food one back to me. I looked at him and said, "I don't have a cat." (If I'd been thinking straight I would've placed it with the Iams cat food for good karma.) The cashier said, "Keep it. Maybe someone won't notice next time."

I was shocked!

In my mind, part of this man's job is making sure that the appropriate coupons are applied to the appropriate items; otherwise the store can lose money. Instead, he was basically encouraging me to "get mine" if I could.

I like using coupons, hunting for good deals, and the like. I also hate being held up in line by someone who wants to "get theirs" at cost to others. I'll probably take the coupon back and place it next to the cat food because I think it would be a nice thing, but I don't think that a $5 coupon is worth a clean conscience. Even if the cashier didn't catch it, I'd still know I'd been dishonest, and I don't take pride in pulling one over on people who are tired and run down with complaining shoppers.

Carnival Love #2

Update: MacGyver Monday: Fabric Softener was featured in the Festival of Frugality #170 at MoneyNing. While you're there, check out David's diy haircut. It looks great and saves money! Thank you again!

Thank you to the tireless editors of these carnivals for featuring Modern Tightwad.

The Carnival of Personal Finance #197 at Four Pillars featured my post highlighting lessons my Great-Grandparents taught me entitled Live Like It's 1939.

M is for Money has the Carnival of Debt Reduction #184 and featured my Confessions of a Spender post. Hopefully more people would like to toot their own horn!

Thank you for reading!

Mr. MT is a genius!

So the other day I stubbed my baby toe, and it hurt so bad. Mr. MT went to the refrigerator and came back with something in his hand. He wrapped a cold packet of taco sauce around my baby toe! Normally I get so cold from ice packs, this was perfect because it put the cold right where it needed to be. Talk about a unique reuse.

Am I Becoming A Tightwad Survivalist?

My recent foray into alternative fabric softener left me feeling introspective. Am I a survivalist at heart? Is my hair conditioner fabric softener my first step into a world of rugged cabins, no trespassing signs, and a strong desire to make a blanket from animal skins?

I have recently discovered a strong desire for self-sufficiency. I am starting to develop this deep seated need that goes past "how little can I pay?" and ventures into "how easily can I make this myself?"

I think some of this feeling stems from how isolated I feel in the desert. There was an emergency management study that ranked the Southern Nevada area poor for emergency situations based on evacuation ability and isolation; you can get out of the area but there's not really any place to evacuate to.

So I've started thinking about things I want to know how to do on my own. I want to know:

• how to make my own soap
• how to make my own dish detergent
• how to make my own laundry detergent
• how to do basic clothing repairs (fix buttons, basic alterations) (I'm an urban tightwad, a lot of this escapes me)
  
• how to start a fire with a flint

I'm sure I'll keep adding to this list. Many of these skills have come to mind while I'm researching my tightwad emergency kit and bug out bag. I've come to realize how dependent I am on the commercial system around me, and dependence at any level makes me uncomfortable. The main reason I'm trying to become debt free and reduce my necessities of life is to create more freedom for myself and family.

I don't want to wake up and find myself in an emergency and unable to provide the basic needs of life for my family because I turned over my knowledge, skills, and self-sufficiency to the universe around me. Nor do I want to realize one day that I have no choice but to spend money on things I should be able to do myself.

So I don't think this qualifies me for a yurt in the Rocky Mountains, I do feel a sense of empowerment with my new goals. As a child, we can't wait to walk and run, stepping away from our parents; as an adult, I'm finding new ways to extend myself, to really get my feet under me. The surprise seems to be the fun I'm having with the process.

Photograph by visulogik

Why Should I Worry About Something That Saves A Quarter?

In regards to my alternative fabric softener, I've gotten a few responses similar to Trent at Simple Dollar got regarding his homemade laundry detergent:

"That much effort for 10 cents a load? Why?"

Because I don't look at it like 10 cents a load, I look at it as $40+ a year. Forty dollars is equivalent to two minimum credit card payments, almost a week's worth of groceries, or a nice dinner out with Mr. MT as a reward for hard work.

Regardless of the amount, I got into debt a dollar at a time; I will get out, and stay out, a dollar at a time.

Confessions of a Spender: Owning Up to Debt & Tooting Your Own Horn

She stands slowly, hearing the scrape of the chair sliding back on the tile floor. As she raises her head and looks around the room, she isn't really comforted by the somber, yet encouraging faces, waiting for her to speak. After taking a deep breath, she says: "My name is Mrs. Modern Tightwad, and I have debt."

Have you noticed that even in this economic turbulence, the country had debt and poor savings, people have debt and poor saving, but hardly anyone steps up and says, "I'm one of those people." I don't want to be like that so I want to say: I'm one of those people. I have debt.

How do you ring up $50,000 in debt? First, I was a chronic spender, who decided to try and find my identity in a closet of different styles. I tried to buy a personal identity that I lacked. Second, I tried to take care of friends and loved ones to my own detriment (they were not aware, I just couldn't say "no"). Lastly, I started paying for an education that I didn't know if I wanted, because I didn't even know what I wanted to do.

Why am I not discouraged? Because I remember thinking that we'd never be below $50,000. I remember when we didn't have even one month's emergency expenses saved (we now have two). I remember when we hadn't planned for our annual expenses, and kept being "blindsided" by expenses we should have known were coming, and ended up putting everything on credit card. They are all budgeted for, with money set aside.

I don't feel bad about my debt, merely because I'm not in the habit of abusing myself, and I've already felt guilty enough. I've found far more benefit in being productive to change the situation then mourning my bad choices. And I realize I've made bad choices. I certainly don't wish I had the debt, and I want it gone!

I would still be a modern tightwad if I didn't have the need, but I do have the need. Many of the tricks I try are designed to save money and reduce our cost of living. If we keep our cost of living low, once our debt is paid off, we will be able to save more, and possibly retire sooner.

I currently estimate the conditioner fabric softener will save us at least 10 cents a load, so for each load of wash we do, I'm going to put a dime in a jar, and use it to pay down debt. I will do the same thing for each new money saving trick and post it for you.

I will also be posting a "woot," "woo-hoo," "yippee," or "bummer" each month. If I pay down $500, I will "woot," $1000, I will "woo-hoo," all of my debt, I will "yippee" and cry "bummer" if it goes up.

Let me know if you want to toot your own horn too. E-mail me at moderntightwad@gmail.com by the 5th of the month, and I'll post your success for us to cheer!

Oh, The Trouble My Mouth Gets Me In To!

Update: I forgot to mention that FruGal decided to use the most graceful tact any friend can, a gentle reminder or off-the-cuff remark. With any luck, she'll be laughing about this with her friend, sitting in a pub 10 years from now. Cheers and good times ahead!

For those of you who read FruGal, you've probably been following the quest to answer one of life's greatest mysteries, splitting the check.

In relation, I have also discovered one of life's certainties: writing a comment on a blog at midnight after taking a Benadryl is not the path to success.

However, something I feel very strongly about, in fact the reason I started this blog, is I believe that frugality can be well-supplemented with grace, ethics, and good conduct. Hence, a discussion on splitting the check piqued my interest, and caused many folks to bristle.

At root of FruGal's particular annoyance was a certain best friend who was no longer asking to pick up her share of the tab when going out with FruGal and her FruGuy. It seemed like an odd dispute to me, as she freely admitted that "FruGuy is the sort of guy who automatically reaches for the bill when it arrives, and doesn’t think twice about paying for her as well. He’s not the type to worry about who ordered what, and is generous enough to happily buy by BFF dinner every now and then."

Apparently, Ms. FruGal found my comment very interesting and even published a portion of it. Many of the other comments I read were not very positive to the friend, but in my personal experience, most etiquette blunders come from a lack of knowledge, plain forgetfulness, or something random and can be handled rather simply.

I did want to clear up any misconception from my bleary-eyed midnight comment post, with an allergy-filled daylight post (which will most likely get me into more trouble).

First, I do believe you train people how you would like to be treated. I think it is a little odd to assume that just because something (supposedly) changes in an individual's personal life that it will automatically change their dynamic with other people.

Second, there was no problem when it was just FruGal and her friend splitting the bill. As always, the trouble only begins when you throw a man in the mix. If FruGuy was content with the arrangement (FruGal didn't say it bothered him in any way), why was FruGal so upset? It sounded more like she felt he was being taken advantage of or disrespected, which is a separate issue from picking up the check.

In addition, "making a show" about getting one's purse, to me, is an insincere display with a complete lack of honest intent to follow through. If that's all FruGal wants, I'm sure her friend would be happy to accomodate, as it takes zero effort or thought. And I don't think good friends should be expected to make a show at any time, especially because it diminishes any gesture if it's fake.

Lastly, while I am a modern tightwad, I do hold some very old-fashioned values, as do many of my friends. A large majority of them are uncomfortable having a woman at their table pick up their own tab if it's not necessary. In addition, due to my age and gender, I have encountered several people who found it culturally offensive to have me pick up the check or try and offer something at a gathering.

That said, a modern tightwad should behave with grace and tact, and SHOULD ALWAYS OFFER to pick up their tab, bring food to a potluck, or a gift to the host.

I've actually lost a friend over money. She decided that, since I was going, I could afford to buy her a ticket to a concert she wanted to see. When I told her I was unable, she got very upset and hasn't spoken to me since. She valued our friendship at $43.95 + service fee.

True friendships can't be valued in split checks and bar tabs. After all, it's very difficult to keep tabs on how often someone is available for a midnight call after a break-up, or with chicken soup when you're sick. I don't miss the friend who valued a concert ticket over our time, but I miss many others, and we still never run tabs.

Mouth Courtesy of nyki m

MacGyver Monday: Fabric Softener

It was one of those ironic moments. My aunt had called our house asking what we used for fabric softener. In the past we've used Seventh Generation's Blue Eucalyptus and Lavender, even though it can be a little expensive. I just can't handle the intense fragrance of Downy and after the third box of "unscented" Bounce that just smelled like the Downy it sat next to, I relegated myself to the expensive stuff.

One day after the call, I was reading a post at Funny About Money on alternative fabric softeners, particularly the 1:10 conditioner solution. I decided to give it the ultimate test: Mr. Modern Tightwad's Blankie. My hubbin has a king size fleece blanket that without a full dose of fabric softener turns into a clingy, static mess that even attracts the neighbor dog's hair from four doors down.

So I took a Ziploc Snap n'Seal Container and filled it with 10 teaspoons of water, and 1 teaspoon of Whole Foods 365 Fragrance Free Conditioner, closed lid, and shook until well-blended. Or rather, I tried to close it, shook a third of it all over myself, and then followed the above instructions. (Even MacGyver wasn't perfect every episode.) On a side note, this blend left my hands baby soft, and in the desert that's nearly priceless.

The verdict: It worked great! I think I might have used a bit more of the blend, but that was more due to operator error; I wasn't sure how much to use without the telltale cap. At first, I didn't think it worked because there were a few static "pops" when I pulled it out of the dryer. Mr. MT (who usually does the laundry in our house) said that was normal, and there hasn't been a single static sound since, and zero cling to report. I would whole-heartedly recommend this, especially when you break down the math.

1 40 oz. bottle of Seventh Generation Fabric Softener
$4.99-5.99 (Depending on Coupons)
40 Loads (1 oz. per load)
=$0.125-0.15 per load

1 32 oz. bottle of 365 Fragrance Free Conditioner
$3.79
320 oz. Water - $0-2.50 (bottled water)
176 loads (2 oz. per load)
=$0.02-0.035 per load

Even if someone bought bottled water to make their fabric softener and used twice as much "alternative" softener, they'd save quite a bit. I project we'll save at least $40/year. You could increase your savings by using a cheaper conditioner, and no one says you have to use fragrance free. I think I'll try the 365 Lavender or Mint next time. It's not a paperclip and gum wrapper saving the day, but it was a fun experiment.

Update: The 1:10 conditioner:water solution was a little bit watery, so I think I might decrease it to 1:9 or 1:8 for the next batch, but a 1:12 solution in a spray bottle makes an excellent skin moisturizer!

MT Tips: Cheap, Healthy Chocolate Milkshake

Today I made one of my favorite treats and realized,"Hey, this is a cheap treat my readers might like!"

Chocolate Banana Milkshake
Vanilla Yogurt
Ice
Banana
Milk (Can substitute cream and water)
Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

Blend the items to the consistency that you prefer.

Now as is, this item costs maybe $1 per serving. I'm sure one could reduce costs by using powdered milk. If you want to add some protein, add a dollop of peanut butter. I do keep vanilla yogurt in the house because it works with almost everything, granola for breakfast, in sauces for cooking...it's just really good. If you don't have yogurt I would plan on putting the peanut butter in as a thickening agent. And enjoy!

MT Tips: Live Like it's 1939, oops edition

As mentioned in the previous post, I learned a lot from what my great-grandparents did right during World War II. I also learned a lot from the mistakes (as I see them) that they made.

#1: Don't wait to be generous.
When I was younger I knew my great-grandparents to be generous people. They demanded respect and proper etiquette, but without them I'd have an overbite you wouldn't believe, wouldn't have been able to go on any field trips in the sixth grade, and wouldn't have a brass change sorter in my bedroom that I still cherish.

However, in the years before I came into the picture, my great-grandparents were not known for their generosity, in fact, quite the opposite; I don't know if they ever stopped rationing in some respects. And while they could occasionally be generous, it was not a habit. (FYI: They could be very generous with each other and, while not without problems, had a long-lasting marriage, another great lesson.)

#2: Know the people who are taking care of you.
I always had to laugh when watching "Gilmore Girls" with the new housekeeper every other week. That was my great-grandma. You have to know the people who are taking care of you, either in your home or your business, and treat them the same way you want to be treated, if you want the same results you would procure.

#3: Innovation can never cease.
After many years of working with plastics, a very large company asked my great-grandfather if he wanted to become a primary distributor. He said, "I make lamps! What would I do with that?" He even had trusted employees willing to take on the work of this distributorship, but grandpa was a combination of content with who he was, and uncomfortable to take on anything else. If he had made a change he wouldn't have been stuck watching a dying industry in his later years, totally void of the innovation and creativity that brought him joy earlier.

I've learned so many lessons from the people who have come before me, and am appreciative for the sacrifices they made, the successes and the failures. If anyone from my family is reading this, I am sure that the different years each person spent with my great-grandparents would alter the perspective in which this is all viewed, but I hope I was fair, kind, and respectful in my recollection.

MT Tip: Live Like it's 1939

While many personal finance gurus and financial correspondents are looking to the Great Depression for guidance on how to handle the current economic times, I've been seeking guidance from a slightly more recent time period.

My great grandparents built a manufacturing empire out of the fragile economy that emerged from the Great Depression to a tentative existence in World War II. Shortly after the GD, historians will remember a time where your duty to your country was saving, hard work, and rationing instead of spending.

While rationing was a necessity, it was also potential death for small manufacturing companies like my great-grandpa's lighting business. During those years lamps were made from steel, and Uncle Sam had the priority. How he and my great-grandma handled things taught me the greatest recessionary lessons I know:

Lesson #1: It's okay to shift your focus when necessary.
So my great-grandpa found a way to obtain steel. He obtained a government contract to make detonators that allowed him access to raw materials. Today, while people are being laid off from traditional IT jobs, fields like Health Information Management are in need. Re-examine your skill set and your needs and look for your niche in various industries.

Lesson #2: Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
My great-grandpa was so desperate for that government contract, that he grossly underbid. Uncle Sam was gracious enough to let him re-bid, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to keep his doors open, let alone fulfill his obligation. If you want the job or extra responsibilities, it's more than okay to go all out to get it, but don't commit to anything you're not capable of. Leaving an inept impression will be worse for you in the end.

Lesson #3: Cut unnecessary expenses.
While an era of rationing makes it easier to cut unnecessary expenses, it's still vital today. If an expense doesn't have a purpose, need or actual benefit, cut it.

Lesson #4: Don't cut necessary expenses.
It was especially important to pay the money to court business contacts and keep the business afloat. Many people today don't understand the diverse meaning of investment. An investment in your business can be an investment in a contact, an investment in a new supply line, or even an investment in yourself so that you can continue managing your company.

Lesson #5: Do you really know the meaning of hard work?
Not only did the contract allow him access to steel, it did allow his business to continue manufacturing lamps. However it was only allowed on third shift, and on a few days a month. Production would go straight through the night to keep everyone afloat. I have to admit, even as a child my great-grandparents ran circles around me; I just don't think they make them like they used to. But right now I'm burning the candle at both ends trying to keep my day job and start a new business. Being industrious is the most important skill anyone can develop.

Lesson #6: Innovation or death
My great-grandparents knew their situation was not indefinite. With the war, and rationing, coming to an end, more competition would arise. So when the new concept of plexiglas (lucite) came across their desk, it was a perfect solution. Because of their willingness to be creative and move forward, my great-grandparents specialty lucite lamps are a signature of the modern era that emerged in the 50s. History rewards the bold and the brave, so don't be afraid. Try new things, and don't be afraid to fail.

My great grandparents obviously weren't in a bad position going into World War II, as they were business owners, but when the world told them sink or swim, they built a life raft. This economy is scary to a lot of people; I am comforted to look back on a generational legacy that has taught me so much. I've also learned from their mistakes, which I'll talk about next.

Photo Courtesy of army.arch

Maybe Credit Isn't Quite Drying Up

So I have found myself having the wonderful and rare occurrence of receiving a 0% 12-month balance transfer offer. It would be a great way to consolidate my last couple remaining credit cards that I could not get a 0% offer on. Over the past couple of years I have felt forced to apply for credit cards. I was thoroughly content with the three credit cards I had. Then BofA bought all of the companies that owned my cards and I couldn't do any balance transfers; they effectively tied my hands into 15-25% interest rates.

So I applied for a Discover Card last year, but I still have a couple cards with balances that I couldn't make the math work to move around. And since the 12-month offers that I had received are coming to a close, I need the option to move some balances around again. On the surface it seems like a great idea, but I'm still hesitant.

#1: I'm not sure how applying for new credit is going to effect my FICO score, especially now that Experian won't tell me how it's effecting me.

#2: I'm not actually getting a 0% offer, but rather a 3% offer due to the balance transfer fees.

#3: With the current economic situation I sometimes feel paralyzed to make a change.

In the end I will make the change, the after BT interest rate would be the best of all my cards. It will be a cash back card, and my goal after paying off all my debt is to never pay full price for anything, and 1-5% back helps me get there.

FYI: I chose not to opt out of pre-screened offers so that I could keep my options open (and my shredder running well). I have received MANY 0.99% and 2.99% offers, which in my mind are still better than the average 10-15% interest rates on credit cards these days, but this was the first 0% offer in over six months, quite a change from before.

Too Cheap For Me

Reading an article on bizarre in-law behavior, I came across the following experience: '"On the day of my grandmother-in-law's funeral, my sister-in-law took the flowers — from the grave site — because she wanted to use them on her dining room table for Valentine's Day the next week." — weddja' (Hubbin said,"What's wrong with that?" with a big ironic smile)

I have a problem with saving "death flowers" to give to other people or save for romance. Many other people would disagree with me, but this strikes me as stealing from the dead, a slightly cheerier form of tomb-raiding, but I know I am just very uncomfortable with the concept. Others may argue that grandma wasn't going to use the flowers anymore, and didn't even have the capacity to enjoy them either (depending on what they believe happens to the dead).

Frankly I think the point where someone finds frugality to be cheap is a line of taste. I find this particular case distasteful, and therefore cheap. Someone else might not feel the same way.

Carnival Love

I had a wonderful surprise today: I got carnival love!

MT Tips: Factor YOU into Your Budget and Choices is featured in the Carnival of Everything Money #5 and MT Tips: Respect for Other People's Choices is featured in the Festival of Frugality #168.

I would like to say a special "Thank you" to Abby at I Pick Up Pennies for suggesting that I submit to a Carnival. It is amazing how the encouragement we receive in the blogiverse helps us to overcome our fears and accomplish wonderful things. Thank you for reading!

Frugal Eats by delish

delish by MSN has a great list of 12 Healthy Dinners for $3 a Serving. I have to say I love the look of these recipes. Now for a family of four that does put you at $12 for dinner, but that's still better than any restaurant (although not quite as good as $5 Dinners).

Most of these dinners have an ethnic flair, and both meat, fish, and vegetarian meals are represented. I'm most looking forward to trying the Spinach and Cheese Stuffed Portabello Mushrooms, but I think my husband will love the Hawaiian Ginger-Chicken Stew.

Not everyone is going to like these recipes, but you can use them as a foundation for your own experiment. Adding a $1 worth of ground beef can completely change the concept of a dish.

Frugal eating is very important to me, but my concept of frugal food used to be rice and beans. No more! I love food and have recently been re-discovering how to cook. I'll look forward to sharing my kitchen experiments with you all.

MT Tips: Some Things are Much More Important than Money

I firmly believe that the good things we receive in life, we receive to help others; we just don't always know how or who. After long-term unemployment, my hubbin was fortunate to find a nice job about three weeks ago. It has meant so much to us. It was great for his confidence, I was able to take a sick day without worrying about paying the bills, and we were able to help out a real emergency.

About two weeks after Mr. MT got his job, our friends shared with us that they were in dire need. Our friends are not in a great financial position, and they never will be because they won't use "the system" unless they're desperate and they are completely honest people which usually means you don't get ahead easily. The husband was in an accident and got laid off because he couldn't do his job, she is a student who is chronically-ill, and so they finally had to apply for food stamps; they really don't know how they're going to survive, but they are a fine example of a couple who has faith in each other and in the universe to provide.

Did you know that you cannot buy paper goods, personal care products or prepared food (like the rotisserie chicken outside the deli) with food stamps? So you can eat, but you can't buy soap or toilet paper. It just seems a little odd. But according to the rules you can give someone non-cash gifts without disturbing their benefits, so we sent a box. We sent rice, beans, pasta, peanut butter, toilet paper, soap, shampoo, anything non-perishable we could think of, anything we knew they couldn't buy themselves, like a first aid kit.

Our hope is that they'll be able to buy a little bit of meat or something similar, take a breath, and at least know that they are cared for.

The irony was when we were taking the box to the post office, my hubbin looked at me and said, "We couldn't have done this if I wasn't working." And he is right. What a difference a couple weeks makes. The universe works in mysterious ways.

I will tell any Modern Tightwad. This is why you clip coupons, shop for deals, and try to get out, and stay out, of debt. So that when someone you love is in dire straits, you can be there with open arms, and help with what is needed.

MT Tips: Factor YOU into Your Budget and Choices

At one point in my life I had a collections account. The account was for an unpaid library fine that increased from a $25 fee to a $100 collection. After having a Hollywood Video membership for a couple years, I realized I was paying more in late fees than I was to rent movies.

Granted, this was all from at least ten years ago and, thankfully, I've greatly improved in responsibility. But I still know myself. I know that I work odd hours, that like most stereotypical creative types I get wrapped up in my project and forget about the time, and that I will always prioritize my friends and family over a late fee.

So I Netflix. I think I pay less with the monthly fee than I did with late fees, and I love the "Watch Instantly" feature that allows me to chill with 'Murder, She Wrote' when the whim strikes me. I factor ME, my habits, my choices, and my tendencies into my budget.

It's not easy to do this; it's not easy to look yourself in the mirror and say, "Hey, I'm not responsible enough to return movies/library books on time, so I need to find a new option."

People forget to include their lives in their budgets. Even in the blogosphere, it's almost impossible to model your budget after someone else's. I once found a book that had this gorgeous comprehensive budget, right down to the penny; I turned it into a template and couldn't figure out why my budget was off by a bit each month. Turns out HE (the author) didn't need line items for birth control and feminine products.

What about you?

• Are you a professional who needs a line item for business clothes?
• Are you a student who should set aside funds for textbooks?
• Have you set aside a sanity fund?(vacation, art supplies, babysitting)
• Have you sat down and prioritized the large expenditures you know are coming?

If you factor you (or your family) into your budget, you can own the choices you make; you know your budget, your spending, and your life, works for you.

Update: Hubbin made me correct a typo. Doh!

MT Tips: Respect for Other People's Choices

Many frugalists are looked down upon for their choices. They're told: "Coupons? Recycling? Used clothes and furniture? How embarassing?" Trust me, I went to a school where if the tag sticking up out of the back of your designer shirt had the tell-tale slash of the outlet mall, you might as well homeschool.

But lately, there is a mass backlash against those who have spent in a way that many think lacked common sense. This can cause many of the frugalists to look at their retail-paying counterparts with disdain, something that really has no place or purpose.

We all make choices every day, some we may not even realize. We choose how long we spend in the shower, if we recycle, if we buy new or used. However, those who buy used should recognize the "retailist's" place in the frugal cycle. If it weren't for a "retailist" buying a garment, piece of furniture, etc., then donating or selling it to a second-hand store, the frugalist would be forced into the retail world, or have to make their own products (easier in some cases than others).

A mutual respect for people's choices may not be easily attainable in this lifetime, but it's extremely important to recognize that we are an interdependent community.

For example, I shopped in my aunt's closet, and she shopped at Nordstrom's. I'm glad she was able to buy things she liked, and I'm glad she was gracious enough to give me first choice at her beautiful hand-me-downs. When I tried to shop like she did, I ended up with credit card debt, and donating clothes that still had the tags on it (something I can't stand) because her lifestyle doesn't work for me. I know that when she thinks of living in the multi-family situation Mr. MT and I do, it makes her feel a little claustrophobic; my lifestyle doesn't work for her. But we're happy that each is satisfied with their own choices, and understand each other's place in the cycle.

MT Tips: Anniversary Edition

Mr. ModernTightwad and I were fortunate to celebrate our anniversary this past week, which brings up my favorite topic: Love, tightwad style!

In all honesty, we did not have the most frugal anniversary; we went to a moderately expensive restaurant that we have wanted to go to for our entire marriage, but we did use a coupon.

Love is a truly wonderful gift but it isn't really free. Dating, marriage, all have a cost to the pocketbook, but creativity can mitigate a lot.

Many frugalists champion the "Love Coupon Book." In all honesty, I'm not that big a fan. Not everyone (even in a relationship) like using coupons, and I'm prone to lose them. But the principle is still important: putting the other person first. Some things off the top of my head:

1. Set up a picnic in your house.
2. Set up a "Week of Dates" where you do one simple thing together each day.
3. Take a camera to a park of local landmark and take pictures of each other.
4. Write a list of the things that attracted you to or made you fall in love with the other person, and frame it.

Brainstorm with friends and family if you need.

THE NUMBER ONE, LEAST EXPENSIVE ROMANTIC TIP IS: BE ATTENTIVE!

It really is that simple. Oftentimes, whether you are reducing debt, concerned with whatever is going on around you economically, socially, or at work, we forget to check in and make sure the other person is okay. I never take for granted that my hubbin is my rock, and I never take for granted that my rock needs the foundation that we maintain. When we get overwhelmed or tired, we have a tendency to dump on the people closest to us because we believe they have to love us anyway. While love doesn't have limits, the imperfect people we love may.

So tell someone you love how wonderful they are, that you recognize how much they are doing, and you appreciate them. It's worth more than diamonds.


Photo courtesy of (kjunstorm)